Friday, May 26, 2017

Humbling offers of help

Why is it we find it so hard to accept someones help... Have you ever offered doing something for someone and they said yes to it?  It is a wonderful joyous feeling to know you are doing something that eases a load on someone. I've been there made doing the chore or errand so much more tolerable and yes even fun.

In the last few months I have had to humble myself and accept offers of help, when someone sees a definite need to be done they often jump to help.  We allow our pride to keep us from not only blessing ourselves but also from blessing the giver.

Today I had someone text me an offer I quite honestly wanted to say no to, it actually took me 5 min or so of struggling with the reasons to say no even while I was so happy for the offer.  I said yes, and loaded up 4 loads of laundry into a friends car.  2 sopping wet smelly loads and two others I had hoped to do today.  I ma extremely humbled and blessed, and yes blessed in the true sense of that word, I'm not just throwing it in there.

I am praying hard that both my washer and dryer are fixable, yup they both bit the dust last night hence the two sopping loads of laundry...the washer fills and empties but won't spin and the dryer just stopped...so Keith is pretty sure the dryer is just an internal fuse but the washer...the motor to spin won't engage...pray it is fixable, it would be a hardship to replace that and the other two appliances that need replacing to...deep freezer and vacuum...

Anyhow back to the original content, trust me, say yes sometime to an offer of help I promise it not only blesses you but the person who offers in ways unimaginable!

Monday, May 15, 2017

Welcoming a new decade

Yup, it's official I have entered my 50's. After almost a week and a half of celebrating I am pooped out but feeling confident and loved as I move into this decade of my life.   I have to say there is no grief, fear or concerns I am loved by a Most High God, I understand as best as I can about the Trinity of my belief and have come to the place where even when things get hard I have a part of me that says He is with me and that He is working in it.

I celebrated with pampering and parties.  Manicure, pedicure, eyebrows a new hairstyle and a new outfit.  There were family dinners, a surprise party, a sleep over and a coffee date.  Gifts of all sizes and love beyond anything I  have ever known...the whole thing ended with a blissful Mothers day and although I had what is now the familiar ache of missing my mom it wrapped up an amazing 12 days of celebrating.


Tomorrow is a sew day and I am excited to take my gift certificates and discounts into the quilt store for a shopping trip.  And I am ready to focus on some new projects and some yard and house reno's we are going to take on.

My dear Matthew will live here through the summer, he has a 1/2 time job so his room and board will be some work for his mamma.

I am excited to be renovating my laundry room and 1 bathroom to start, yard clean up, deck repair and hopefully a wish I've had was to build a small deck in the front yard with some simple landscaping...Oh yes and its time to get the travel trailer ready too.

My health remains a difficult path for me but if I keep going forward it can only hold me back as much as is necessary.  I am hoping to write here more we shall see how that unfolds.

Thank you to all who made me feel so special these past 12 days and everyday really you keep this ol'bird looking forward to the next day and the next adventure.

May God Bless you as abundantly as you bless me
Karen

Sunday, December 4, 2016

It's just life...

I wanted today's title to be something like a shout...maybe, ENOUGH or CRANKY or maybe simply I GIVE UP.  Sometimes I try to think about how I'm feeling, trying to compare it to last month or 3 months ago etc and all I can come up with is ick, Ewww, bad, gross.   But is it all that way? Were there not some good days?  I know there have been, there have to be right?  Otherwise how would one remaine sane.

I remember talking to my Doctor a few months back about it...why no remissions this year.  He gently apologized, I love that about him by the way, he reminded me that the past 3 years have been rough.  My moms death, two surgeries not to mention just the usual stuff that occurs in my crazy house.  He gently told me one surgery is bad enough on my body but two have just pushed it to its limit.  I mean I received the flu shot at the end of October and I've never had a reaction like this years.  I was tossed rather unceremoniously into a pit of pain and fatigue that rendered my usually good natured attitude right into the soup of dismay...I'm so sorry to my family who takes the blunt of it, to my friends who may have noticed a decrease in communication.

You see a flare doesn't mean just increased pain and fatigue but also a shutting down of very reactive senses...noises are louder, nerves are tighter, eyes are blurry and sore, scents are jarring pain shoots through my hands with simple tasks and I just plain don't want to put effort into anything.

But as with all things this too shall pass or in my case lessen.  ?right?  Sometimes I wonder, but I do know there are good days coming there always are and this doesn't mean pain free or energy full days it just means that as I get closer to the bottom of my reserves I know without a doubt that's when Christ takes over...I love those times, yup you heard right, in the midst of pain and fatigue I love it when I can just press up against Him, close my eyes and feel His presence in a most profound way...

His promises are what gets me up in the morning, what makes me put one foot in front of the other and put a smiling face on, so I will continue on I will not give up I will find peace and joy in everyday things and I promise to try and be less cranky, less inward looking and to put effort into positive communicating

Monday, October 24, 2016

Busy...busy...busy

My idea of busy is likely quite different than most folks.  October has been a crazy month for me... 2 road trips with overnight stays, thanksgiving, and a returned son moving in. It feels like October just zoomed past.  This week is a bit quieter, Keith works 3 -12 hour shifts Mon-Wed., mid term exams are done for my 2 university kids, our sweet adopted family is in Vancouver for surgery so no scheduled babysitting (although I am quite sure we will spend some time there this week helping Nicole).

I think I am looking forward to November it's kind of like the calm before the Christmas storm, I hope!  So the next three days for me will revolve around resting, laundry and sewing...a few yummy meals are planned ahead making that much easier.  I do have a Dr. Appointment and we are attending a funeral on Thursday, an old high school friend if Keith's and as is usually the case we will be seeing some old friends from our early 20s.

There are a few fun events I may consider attending...girls night at Real Deals for home decor on Wednesday evening and a sale at my favorite yarn shop, Knit2Yarns, in Valleyview on Saturday!

So here's to the last week of October...and sigh the beginning of Winter season.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Wait a minute...

When did this happen?  When did September suddenly arrive?  Nope, I'm not ready at all...I want more heat and beach days, more lounging at the campsite more outdoor evenings with friends. Summer is not as much fun without the constant presence of the sun. This summer has been a bit lacklustre.  I do however have friends who have quite enjoyed the cooler days, and yes it does have its own plus side.  But I feel ripped off...  Ok I know we can still have an amazing warm fall...but as far as trends go I'm not holding my breath at this point.

Oh there are great things I love about fall too...the warm sun even on crisp days, the bounty coming in from the fields, the stunning colors of fall...warm casseroles and soups.  Wearing jeans, hopefully lol, and sweaters...cozy socks and blankets.  I could keep going...I try to find the joy in every season and every day, it has become a part of my self care.  So even though I know summer is passing, there will be another one right around the corner.

Every day has a blessing in it somewhere, reach for it, search for it and enjoy the warmth it brings...look hard for it, it is worth it!

Wait a minute...

When did this happen?  When did September suddenly become 8 days away?  Nope, I'm not ready at all...I want more heat and beach days, more lounging at the campsite more outdoor evenings with friends. Summer is not as much fun without the constant presence of the sun. This summer has been a bit lacklustre.  I do however have friends who have quite enjoyed the cooler days, and yes it does have its own plus side.  But I feel ripped off...  Ok I know we can still have an amazing warm fall...but as far as trends go I'm not holding my breath at this point.

Oh there are great things I love about fall too...the warm sun even on crisp days, the bounty coming in from the fields, the stunning colors of fall...warm casseroles and soups.  Wearing jeans, hopefully lol, and sweaters...cozy socks and blankets.  I could keep going...I try to find the joy in every season and every day, it has become a part of my self care.  So even though I know summer is passing, there will be another one right around the corner.

Every day has a blessing in it somewhere, reach for it, search for it and enjoy the warmth it brings...look hard for it, it is worth it!

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Life hits hard

...it always amazes me how life can hit us, usually out of the blue and from what seems like all directions.  I just finished writing a note to my Aunt, my Uncle Hugh has been diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer.  They got the diagnosis on Friday and today, Tuesday he is in hospital with questions about needing hospice.  They haven't even talked to an oncologist yet.  Then 1 1/2 hours away another Uncle is recovering from major surgery including removing his gallbladder, part of his liver and a large part of his colon and is awaiting biopsy results.

For some families uncles are seen at weddings and funerals...but not our family...we were always around family, spent summers together and Christmases...even mixed it up as both my dad and moms family knew each other fairly well, well most of them...my dads family is 12 and moms was 4 kids. It made for a huge number of aunts, uncles and cousins.  Weirdly enough my Uncle Marlin and Aunt Alice(dads sister and brother in law) lived next door to my moms childhood home, my mom babysat for them...so these two uncles specifically knew each other fairly well.

My heart is overwhelmed, memories if my moms illness and death are just constantly whirling around in my head and my empathy for my aunts and cousins is tearing at me because you never know what loosing a parent is like until you face it.

My mind is frantically looking and calling out to God and I know He is wading towards me ever straight, it is I myself that puts the muck around me and as soon as I let it go He will be there with His strong arms and strength to hold me up in the days and months ahead.  While I do not fear death at all,  I fear the pain of that temporary loss and change it daily life that it brings and of watching those around my hurt and grieve.